Debate motion:
It is possible to be a bodhisattva in all social context (in our daily lives).
For..
1. It is possible so long we practice bodhisattva and take baby steps -- start from small. Eg. begin with family members, and slowly extend out to friends, neighbours, etc.
2. Everyone can be a bodhisattva in his/her own ways, be it big or small.
3. Having bodhisattva thoughts first by taking/revising the precepts to begin with. You don't need to be perfect to take the precepts. It is a good reminder to us.
4. We can begin with bearing one kind thought and showing lovingkindness to one person a day.
5. Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. -- At all times, practice putting yourself in other people's shoes. He/She may be wishing for someone to help him/her.
Against..
1. It is not possible as there're too many people in your work place who will 'eat' you if you don't do the same to them.
2. Everyday is a challenge as you may need to come out with 'reasons' to be understanding towards your counterparts so as not to affect the corporate image/relations.
3. Having to constantly keep all the 'nonsense' out daily is very challenging. Afterall, we're still human and if we raise our voice/lose our cool, others may ask, "What have we learnt in Dharma classes? What's the point of 'praying'?"
4. We are nice to others and they assume you can be 'bullied' and you may get to do all the 'dirty job'.
5. Lives nowadays are unlike the past which are much simplier, including the monastic. People then are much simplier and much easier to practice bodhisattva in daily lives.
6. Young people are very much 'attached' to the virtual world (Eg. Facebook, Twitter, iPac, iPhone, online games, blogging etc) and less concern about the world around them/they live in. They have less (opportunity to practice) social skills/bodhisattva.
Correct me if wrong ;)
As I was taking my shower last evening (the place and personal 'space' I have, but sometimes have to 'share' it with my son as he needs to sit on our bed and still keep me within his sight), I recalled what are the possible challenges for a young parent to practise bodhisattva in a typical day scenario:
From the moment you open your eyes in the morning..
1. You wake up earlier to use the common toilet as you need to 'queue up' and wait for the toilet.
2. It's getting late and you urgently need to use the toilet and get ready for work.
3. You are rushing for time and yet your child(ren) is(are) crying for some reasons only they know and make it very difficult (getting them ready) to leave the house for child care/school.
On the way to work/child care..
4. You are walking to the nearest MRT station for public transport and others 'overtake' you or don't seem to give/make way to/for your baby stroller.
5. There're other people waiting for the lift to the MRT station (all able-bodied and not in wheel chairs or with bulky bags, lugguages, marketing trolleys or baby strollers) who squeezed into the lift including those who came after you.
6. Nobody bothers to press and hold the 'Open' button (both inside and outside the lift) for you and baby stroller as you come out of the lift (maybe you're not smiling enough and have to say more 'Thank yous').
7. Everyone rushes into the crowded MRT (even before others come out) and nobody gives way to you and baby stroller.
8. No one offers you a seat (including the Reserved seats) even if you're pregnant, with baby stroller or carrying young child etc.
9. Everyone seems to treat the baby stroller as a hand railing and as they exit/enter the MRT, they held onto the baby stroller handles.
10. Everyone seems to treat the baby stroller as some road block and as they exit/enter the MRT, they pushed their way through (the other people on the opposite side didn't make way) and shook the baby stroller each time they pushed (baby is feeding then).
11. Someone even attempted to 'move' the baby stroller away as he/she found the baby stroller blocking his/her way out of the MRT.
12. Commuters speak loudly/holding a cup of ice drink above the baby stroller not realising there's a baby sitting/sleeping inside.
13. Someone walked up to the baby stroller (from the opposite direction) and said 'Boo!' to the baby inside before you can react he/she was gone.
14. People smoking along the crowded covered pavement and there's nowhere to escape but to become 'passive smokers'.
15. People walking along the crowded covered pavement and they overtook you and baby stroller and even 'kicked' the wheels or bumped into the canopy (cover of the baby stroller) without any apology.
16. People walking along the crowded covered pavement and they overtook you and baby stroller and even 'stepped' onto your sandals without any apology (repeatedly 6-7 people in less than 5min).
At the workplace..
17. Your colleagues didn't return you greetings when you greeted him/her with a smile and 'hi' when you met each other passing by.
18. They take for granted and expected you to open/hold the door for them as you entered the office together without a gesture of thanks.
19. Expect you to reply their emails the next working day when it's already almost the end of the day.
20. Bosses have unreasonable expectations when they are unmarried and have no family commitments (pardon me) for giving datelines.
21. Superiors acting as if they're your boss (when they're not the ones paying you the salary) and asking you what you're busy with when you mentioned you don't have time to do some things.
At/After the family dinner..
22. Accidentally toppled a glass of (lukewarm) black coffee onto you (your shorts) and a new bag sitting on your lap.
23. Ordered food without specifying small dishes and couldn't finish all 4 Big dishes (2 Elderly + 2 adults eating 2 meat+1 veg dishes) and 1 vegetarian Big dish for 1 adult and didn't bother to check the size of the dishes with the stall helper and not helping to enquire when you asked the stall helper for confirmation after the dishes are served. You were told they 'see' for themselves the size of the dishes if customers didn't specify upon ordering. Your family member even said everyone (the whole table) should be responsible when ordering when you were busy making milk for your hungry baby then.
Nobody bothered to check the receipt and the stall helper in a haste to leave overcharged us by $2.
24. Nobody bothers to put away the dishes /cups away after dinner and expects to be served and do the dishes.
25. Your in-laws may ask you to help with the cooking/washing and prepare to serve the fruits while everyone else resting/sit in front of the TV.
26. You couldn't do any laundry or hang the clothes as the already dried for days clothings are still hanging on the bamboo sticks and you're not to remove the clothings lest you crumple them/they're not dried thoroughly.
27. You have no place to sit around the dining table or sit in front of the TV (find someplace /some corner) and have to get your food piled up in the rice bowl and eat holding the bowl.
28. You can't sleep as the TV is switched on and family is still watching at past midnight and laughter kept you awake even if you're feeling very tired and have to wake up early the following day.
29. You have to queue for using the toilet to wash up/shower or fight for use but always ended up being the last one.
30. You're being asked why you switched off the lights when there're nobody using the kitchen or toilet or the water heater switch/ electric fan even when no one is in the living room.
With each obstacle, take a deep breath, smile and hopefully the world would smile back at you. Close your eyes and try to picture the smiles on the bodhisattvas. Life should be better.
The scenarios you have listed in everyday life are common challenges in the context of communal living. Out of self-defense or for whatever reason, some even create rumors and put others down. And I agree that the element of basic respect, compassion and understanding towards others is lacking. I do encounter some similar challenges in daily life as well as in sharing Dharma. J
ReplyDeleteWhen we have Dharma friends from with different age group, background and experiences coming together in a class, some might prefer one-directional teaching, others might prefer interactive teaching. We can't please everyone. The disappointment is when your intention for others to have a chance to share Dharma (1st Perfection on Giving Dharma), was misinterpreted as otherwise.
As a beginner bodhisattva walking on this path, some basic qualities we should cultivate would be respect, loving-kindness and understanding, while making faithful vows...
May bodhicitta arise where it has not arisen,
May it never decline where it has arisen but continue to increase further!
May all be well and happy always!
I do agree that it is not easy to practise dharma & aim to be a Bodhisattva everyday.
ReplyDeleteI always believe that as far as our conscience is clear, we are doing the right things.At times I did reflect on what I had done & realised that i was not practicing my dharma. I find that after attending Buddhism lessons at least I learn how to reflect on my actions & try to be more mindful in future.