Reflection : When was the last time that I had experienced some positive emotions?

I was still immersed in yesterday's happiness when today's sadness knocked on my door..

Barbara Fredrickson is one of the world leaders in research about Positive Emotion. She studies 10 :  love, joy, gratitude, serenity, interest, hope, pride, amusement, inspiration and awe. There is quite a range here.

I can think of some examples of the times I experienced each of these emotions such as the first time we went on a date, the first time when we held hands, on our marriage day, when we receive news of becoming first time parents, holding our first born in our arms, listening to late granny telling us her stories of how she successfully raised all six children single-handedly shortly after she gave birth to my aunt and so on. Like most people, there are certain of them that I may experience much more regularly than some of the others.

Reflection : Identify and build strengths in ourselves first not our child(ren)

To develop what is optimal in life, we need to not just eliminate the negative but to identify and build strengths.

822nd week of motherhood

Mon 22 Jun last week of school holidays

Tue 23 Jun had been sleeping late and feeling lethargic

Wed 24 Jun Went for Mega long queue and completed the long wait at 5plus and happy trolley of groceries with bananas, vegetables, Ribena less sugar, peaches, instant noodles, rock salt, pasta, etc

Thur 25 Jun Finally made it to the Mandai Wildlife Adventure West but missed by 70min to enter the East by 5pm. We didn't queue or enter any of the 9 Adventures as the complimentary tickets don't include the adventures. We covered all the 7 treks and spent our time chilling inside the air-conditioned limestone cave. Tickets for adults at $88 and child at $75 per bundle, $10 per adventure+

Fri 26 Jun Today I face my own karma. There's no way to influence a young mind with ideas by force with free will and democracy in modern society. Preference for white light gained victory over yellow light. There is no compromise. No space for discussion. Heart broken. Struggling to heal.💔

Sat 27 Jun last weekend of school holidays

Sun 28 Jun school reopens tomorrow

Are you a good father or mother?

Dedicating more time to the ones you love can feel like you’re compromising the work you’re passionate about like for instance managing your own business. It's always a struggle for most parents, especially those who are more career-minded. It will naturally be on your mind 24/7. But while striking the right balance might not be easy, however it is possible.

It depends on how one defines 'good'. Everyone has 24h a day. If your work take you away from your family for a good 14 or 16h, then the quality time spent together with your family, especially the young ones is very precious. This may not be the case for daily interaction, so weekends are precious too.

If weekends are away to meet clients or work, then phone calls are important. The young ones needs positive role models and motivation, someone who can play and have fun with, and at the same time, be there for them physically when they grow, fall and learn or receive their prize.

There are some intrinsic morals and values which we may like to teach our children such as positive mindset, compassion, honesty and filial piety. And to accept failure. Just like how my 3yo came home from Childcare one day saying, 'Good failure'. I honestly like it, and once awhile, will use it when the time comes. Or what my friend call a 'Happy problem'.

Every parent yearns to be the best father/mother they want to be, and at same time have a great career. Find your balance. Life is all about Yin and Yang. It has its Ups and Downs. When you at the deepest bottom, you know that Lady Luck is on the way as you'll be going up soon. I'm still learning. Good luck!

A Day as a Housewife..

Have you ever wondered how much time is spent by housewives cleaning and scrubbing and washing everyday?

About 57-58 hours a week or 8-9 hours a day?

Reasonably close, I would say.

Sleep 5-6 hours a day?

Travel 3-4 hours a day on the road?

Feeding and meal time 3-4 hours a day?

Personal hygiene and grooming 1-2 hours a day?

How much washing and cleaning detergent is used?

How much chemicals are involved?

How much harm is done to the environment and yourself?

Does your child(ren) have a daily schedule? Better to schedule or not to schedule?

Are you having the same dilemma too? Have you seriously been considering putting you family on a daily schedule to help organize some of the chaos in your lives? You'd like to find out if there's anyone out there who is currently utlilizing a schedule in their homes. If so, what are the benefits? What are the downfalls? Here are some points to consider when setting up your schedule:

In my experiences, having a schedule is the best thing. Awesome.
Set up a schedule to have in mind, but then go with the flow, and don't stress up too much to stick at the schedule will only do more harm than good.
Bedtimes and wake up times change a little when there is no school. But otherwise the schedule is pretty set. Be flexible.
Recommended to schedule for meal times, nap times and bed times.

For example, on a typical weekday:
Wake up 8-8.05am.
Nap 1-1.30pm.
Tea break 3.30-3.45pm.
Dinner 7-7.45pm.
Supper 8.45-9.30pm.
Bed 9-9.45pm.

Alternatively, consider to put your children on loose schedules.
Eat and nap at approximately the same time each day.
When they need to nap is based on how long they slept the previous night and when they wake up the following morning.
Nevermind if you are the dreaded playdate with the strict window of time because your lives may fall apart if you don't function this way. Ours fall on Sundays late evening.

We have daily routines. Previously when I had to report for work in the mornings, there are expectations of getting up, eating and leaving the house by a certain time. And believe me, if the child(ren) slept late the night before, they will have a difficulty time waking in time. There'll bound to be some struggle and it's a challenge to leave home in time. If we have activities after work, those influence our evening routine. On weekends or no-school days, we try to follow the feeding and nap schedule of daycare, but everything else is go with the flow.

What kind of people or parents are you?

At a food court, many people were standing around waiting for seats..on a Sunday during lunch hours.
Finally a family of 3 found a table and sat down while an elderly lady is halfway through her meal, with bowls and plates left on the table. Seated at the adjacent table is a mother with a young child around 3 years old.

Soon, the father joined them with food in tray. Mother started to feed child and the father tucked in too. All this while, the staff are still very short-handed and have yet to clear the plates on the table.

Finally after patiently waiting for the father to return to the table with food, the family of 3 started to clear the plates and tray on the table. The mother saw that at the adjacent table the seat beside the father is vacant and that the child seated opposite had no food in front of him on the table, she 'cleverly and conveniently' placed the tray with used plates there.

A few seconds later, the father said, "Excuse me, my child is eating."
The mother tried to explain to the man, but he repeated that his child is eating.
The mother had no choice, but to clear the tray which was left there previously by somebody else..which her husband took over to put at nearby corner.

It makes me wonder..set me thinking what kind of parent I would like to portrait to my child or the kind of parent my child would be proud of..

How PSLE Aggregate and T-Scores are calculated

To understand how PSLE Aggregate Scores are calculated, we must first understand T-Score. T-Score is the adjusted score a student will get for a subject, after a series of tabulations has been made.

T=50 + 10 x (X-Y)/Z

Formula for T-Score

X = Raw score of student
Y = Average Score of the whole cohort
Z = Standard Deviation* (SD)

Standard Deviation* (SD) is the spread of the marks around the average.

What is Standard Deviation (SD)
If the average score of 100 pupils who sat for English Test is 50 marks and the SD is 5, it means that 2/3 of the 100 pupils have scored 5 marks around the average, which means 66 of the students scored from 45 to 55 marks.

Similarly, if the average score of the same 100 pupils who sat for Mother Tongue Test is 50 marks and the SD is now 10, it means that 2/3 of the 100 pupils have scored 10 marks around the average, which means 66 students scored from 40 to 60 marks.


Example of how T-Score is calculated
Student A’s score for Science – 90 (X)
Average score of cohort – 70 (Y)
Standard Deviation - 25 (Z) (this means 2/3 of cohort scored from 45 to 95)

Using the T-Score formula

T = 50 + 10(X – Y) / Z
= 50 + 10 x (90 – 70) / 25
= 50 + 10 x 20/25
= 50 + 10 x 0.8
= 58

Student A’s T-Score for Science is 58.

Using T-Score to Calculate PSLE Aggregate Score
Let’s now take a look at Student A’s total performance

If the scores for the the subjects English, Mother Tongue, Mathematics and Science are 175, 170, 90 and 90 respectively, and the average score of the cohort are 120, 130, 75 and 70 respectively, and the SDs are 30, 35, 20 and 25 respectively, the T-Scores are 68.33, 61.43, 57.5 and 58 respectively. The Aggregate Score is 245.

My public transport Xperience

I remembered

recently I offered a seat to an elderly lady

when there was an available seat next to me on the SMRT.

There was a family sitting on the seats on the other side

(they too wanted to let their father take the seat).

After the elderly lady sat down, I heard the little son expressed disappointment,

and the father commented to the son,

"People want to give seat, let them give la."

I took a glance at the family, and felt sorry for the child.
Grown adults not knowing the manners is one thing but growing children
brought up this way is the result of poor parenting.
How can you blame the child?

I chatted briefly with the elderly lady before I 'spotted' another elderly gentleman standing not far from us
near the exit door, and I signalled with my hand, calling 'Uncle' softly to him.
Another gentleman, who looked much younger, in his 40-50's,
replied he's also 'Uncle'.

Finally I caught his attention but he rejected my kindness with a wave and a smile on his face.
I can only return his smile.

Learn How To Quickly Memorise Chinese Hanzi Characters

23 July 2010 (Fri) 7:30pm – 9:30pm
Venue: Confucius Institute (NTU) Auditorium
(NTU @ one-north Executive Centre, 11 Slim Barracks Rise, Buona Vista MRT)

Fees: $20 (Public) ; $15 (Members)
Registration ends 19 Jul 2010

Tel: 6514 1061/ 6514 1398
Fax: 6779 7859
Email: hssoh@ntu.edu.sg
Chinese Enrichment

How to Communicate With Infants Before They Can Speak

- a number of parents these days are learning to sign with their babies.
- infants in the past were taught to sign "bye bye", "flying kiss", "hug" and so on, which are forms of sign language.
- they can learn gestures to help them communicate with their caregivers long before they master their speaking skills.


Benefits of signing

- Eg. "hungry", "hot", "sleep" are common signs an infant can learn to communicate their needs.
- signing enhances the social - emotional development of babies and reduces the frustration of babies.
- this leads to less negative interactions between them and their caregivers.
- babies are able to share what they observe, think or feel.
- more trust is established as babies know their caregivers understand what he is trying to say.
- have greater self-esteem and self-confidence.


Preparation for speech

Signing
- makes learning to talk easier and motivates a baby to communicate.
- whets a child's appetite for better ways to communicate. Eg. a baby learning to crawl before walking which motivates him to want to walk to get around.
- helps to stimulate learning through the different senses.
- children begin speaking much earlier than non-signing peers.
- children at early age have higher IQ later in life.