At different stages in life, we require different parenting styles. Yesterday was the start of registration for our child. We didn't use PERMA but based on our own style of expression which was not well received and not welcoming and appreciated. No manual for parenting or marriage. Similarly, no manual on which is the best subject combination or institution/school to enrol.
There are many different routes to a flourishing life. People will derive well-being from each of these five building blocks to varying degrees. What is a good life for one person is not necessarily a good life for another because positive Psychology is descriptive, not prescriptive.
Hence, we are not telling people what choices to make or what to value, but research on the factors that enable flourishing can help people make more informed choices to live a more fulfilling life that is aligned with their values and interests. The following is a brief description of each of the five building blocks of well-being:
Positive Emotion: This route to well-being is hedonic – increasing positive emotion. Within limits, we can increase our positive emotion about the past (e.g., by cultivating gratitude and forgiveness), our positive emotion about the present (e.g., by savoring physical pleasures and mindfulness) and our positive emotion about the future (e.g., by building hope and optimism).Unlike the other routes to well-being described below, this route is limited by how much an individual can experience positive emotions. In other words, the experience of positive emotion is partly heritable and each individual's emotions tend to fluctuate within a range. Some people are, by disposition, low in the extent to which they experience positive emotion. Traditional conceptions of happiness tend to focus on positive emotion, so it can be liberating to know that there are other routes to well-being, described below.
Engagement: Engagement is an experience in which someone fully deploys their skills, strengths, and attention for a challenging task. According to Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, this produces an experience called “flow” that is so gratifying that people are willing to do it for its own sake, rather than for what they will get out of it. The activity is its own reward. Flow is experienced when one’s skills are just sufficient for a challenging activity, in the pursuit of a clear goal, with immediate feedback on progress toward the goal. In such an activity, concentration is fully absorbed in the moment, self-awareness disappears, and the perception of time is distorted in retrospect, e.g., time stops. Flow can be experienced in a wide variety of activities, e.g., a good conversation, a work task, playing a musical instrument, reading a book, writing, building furniture, fixing a bike, gardening, sports training or performance, to name just a few.
Relationships: Relationships are fundamental to well-being. The experiences that contribute to well-being are often amplified through our relationships, for example, great joy, meaning, laughter, a feeling of belonging, and pride in accomplishment. Connections to others can give life purpose and meaning. Support from and connection with others is one of the best antidotes to “the downs” of life and a good way to bounce back. Research shows that doing acts of kindness for others produces an increase in well-being.From an evolutionary perspective, we are social beings because the drive to connect with and help others promotes our survival. Developing strong relationships is central to adaptation and is enabled by our capacity for love, compassion, kindness, empathy, self-sacrifice, teamwork, and cooperation.
Meaning and Mattering: A sense of meaning and purpose can be derived from belonging to and serving something bigger than the self. There are various societal institutions that enable a sense of meaning, such as family, religion, science, politics, work organizations, justice, the community, social causes, among others.
Mattering is a basic human need, that people need to be needed in their relationships or work. It is the belief that you are valued and important to other people and to the broader community, that you make a difference. Research links mattering to life satisfaction, job satisfaction, mental health (e.g., depression and anxiety), engagement at school and work, job retention, among other outcomes.
Accomplishment: People pursue achievement, competence, success, and mastery for its own sake, in a variety of domains, including the workplace, sports, games, hobbies, among others. People pursue accomplishment even when it does not necessarily lead to positive emotion, meaning, or relationships.
