Do you feel loved?

When was the last time you feel you’re loved? Was it last month? Last week? Yesterday?
Well, if you stay on your own, and only get to meet your parents once in a blue moon, you’d probably feel the same way as I do.

My mother came to visit recently and after she left, she left many acts of love in the house during her brief stay while I was out for a quick massage. She managed to make black fungus drink for me before I hurried out of the house.

The clothes were washed and hung (the way she hang is different from mine), dried ones are taken down from the hangers and folded neatly (the way she hang and kept the hangers are also different from mine), the piles of folded clothes on the bed are re-folded neatly, the pot and bowl (used for making black fungus drink) are washed..

Never mind all the differences, the fact is, no matter how old she is, one must be truthful and honest to say, a mother’s love for a daughter is never the same as compared to a daughter-in-law. If not, she must be a true gem.

A Day as a Housewife..

Have you ever wondered how much time is spent by housewives cleaning and scrubbing and washing everyday?

About 57-58 hours a week or 8-9 hours a day?

Reasonably close, I would say.

Sleep 5-6 hours a day?

Travel 3-4 hours a day on the road?

Feeding and meal time 3-4 hours a day?

Personal hygiene and grooming 1-2 hours a day?

How much washing and cleaning detergent is used?

How much chemicals are involved?

How much harm is done to the environment and yourself?

Getting a Maid to take care of your children

- in work-oriented country like Singapore, foreign domestic helpers are employed to do the bulk of the household chores and taking care of the children
- takes two hands to clap, and really can't blame everything that goes wrong in the household on the maid
- your maids are not housekeeping machines and do require that touch of empathy

That Human Touch
- a little kindness and understanding goes a long way.
- the first few days with maid in your home are always the trickiest, with her feeling completely disoriented and insecure about using a language that she is not used to.
- try to make her feel as comfortable and at home as possible.
- engage her in as much as conversation as possible, and encourage her to voice out her feelings
- forging a stronger bond with your domestic helper can also help them to cope better with a new environment, thus performing much better.

Are the Lines Open?
- establishing clear communication with your domestic helper is essential
- important to state your expectations clearly from the start, so that they are met.
- always let you maid feel that she is able to contact you anytime she needs to, without getting chastised.
- leave a list of instructions, should she forget her tasks, and also your phone numbers, should she have any queries.

Finding the Right Balance
- play the part of the firm but kind employer, instead of a patronising parent.
- speak to her as an equal, and instead of scolding her when she does something wrong.
- always be very clear with boundaries and let your maid know of what can and cannot be done.
- eg. left the kids alone in the house for a short period of time whilst she went to the supermarket to get something, was unacceptable .
- communicate your fears to her and dangers of leaving young children unattended.
- you may suggest that the next time she had to go somewhere, she take them along or give you a call and let you pick it up instead.
- people management skills are required
- time and practise make for happy, long lasting relationships for all.